All through life we constantly meet new people. Some become acquaintances, some friends and yet others, those special someones....people we know we'd like to know better, and spend time with ...and thats the very beginning of a love story..
So many movies are made bout the beginnings of love stories but so few bout the end...can't say none anymore cuz of " the break up ". When I first saw it, I thought ,"How depressing ! ". But tis a brilliant movie cuz it gets you to feel exactly what the two people ending the relationship feel. A lil frustration cuz realization dawns too late sometimes...and then practically nothin can be done to salvage whats remaining. People can only be stretched so much and then when they reach breaking point, they tend to call it quits..
How fickle can our hearts be?? Playing tricks on us causin us to falll in n out of love, causin us pain we don't really wish to feel and not content with jus that, inflictin pain on other peoples' hearts too...Was this really part of the master plan or is it the part we've tried to modify and messed up royally by not having the patience...I guess all the answers lie somewhere within us but right now I'm just too lazy to begin the search!!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
the intricacies of being good part 2
To continue from where i left off...everything that went bad is now getting better. The friend is talking to me again and still loves me :). God is awesome!!!! I guess sometimes are testing times and sometimes He just wants to show us things that are right under our noses, that we still haven't noticed....( dumb as i can be sometimes) and He gives and He takes away but there is always a lesson. Maybe it's just intervention before we do damage that is irreparable.
However if you're looking at this as a payoff for being good, you're wrong. there shouldn't have to be any. We've become so goal oriented that we look for successes everywhere. And to add to that we want the easy way out. But it's all bout perspective sometimes. What may seem like failure might just be success behind a cloud. ;).
So keep looking... May you find all your rainbows... Sometimes you may not think there are any... but maybe just maybe, you have to wait for some rain first.
Keep the faith!!!
However if you're looking at this as a payoff for being good, you're wrong. there shouldn't have to be any. We've become so goal oriented that we look for successes everywhere. And to add to that we want the easy way out. But it's all bout perspective sometimes. What may seem like failure might just be success behind a cloud. ;).
So keep looking... May you find all your rainbows... Sometimes you may not think there are any... but maybe just maybe, you have to wait for some rain first.
Keep the faith!!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
the intricacies of being good
Very recently i decided to make a positive change in my life, something that i had been contemplating for a while.There had been halfhearted attempts in that direction before but.... this was the REAL thing. There are just these few moments in my life when I know with utter conviction that there is something that i must do. It was not that this was a particularly easy decision to make, it was just that i reached a point where i would be a hypocrite no more!!!! (at least in this area of my life :P)
At first there was a warm glow inside me, the nice feeling that i was doing something good. Things began to go downhill rather rapidly after that. Something i said was misunderstood and a close friend thought i was a liar, maybe even a hypocrite ....actually i really wouldn't know cuz he's not talking to me right now....
Being good seems to be a lot more trouble than its worth right??? So why even try??? That's cuz as much as i may try to deny it sometimes...my conscience does have a lotta say in my life ... and when it is quiet, the silence is deafening, which another recent realisation. Another good reason to be good is that i unblock the block between God n me...which i put up , kinda like a screen that supposed to allow me to do things without him seeing me...even though i know that he can see anyway...lol jus another one of some of the futile things that i do that make me, me. And last but not the least i have this feeling of peace, of oneness with the world and I'm happy even though I'm miserable...contradictory huh!!!but yeah....
At first there was a warm glow inside me, the nice feeling that i was doing something good. Things began to go downhill rather rapidly after that. Something i said was misunderstood and a close friend thought i was a liar, maybe even a hypocrite ....actually i really wouldn't know cuz he's not talking to me right now....
Being good seems to be a lot more trouble than its worth right??? So why even try??? That's cuz as much as i may try to deny it sometimes...my conscience does have a lotta say in my life ... and when it is quiet, the silence is deafening, which another recent realisation. Another good reason to be good is that i unblock the block between God n me...which i put up , kinda like a screen that supposed to allow me to do things without him seeing me...even though i know that he can see anyway...lol jus another one of some of the futile things that i do that make me, me. And last but not the least i have this feeling of peace, of oneness with the world and I'm happy even though I'm miserable...contradictory huh!!!but yeah....
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
To love or not to love
Can't really figure out which is more scary. When you love, you risk getting hurt cuz you're investing feelings and emotions in another person. You begin to expect.... and with expectation comes disappointment cuz no one is perfect.
Love is something we have to work at. It does not come easy...like all the best things in life. We've been brought up on illusions of love, a romantic fairytailish description..where everything ends happily ever after...The truth is there is no happily ever after. There will always be hiccups in everything that we do simply cuz we're not perfect. In spite of this we expect a love that's perfect without blemish...come on ...that can only be in the soppy romance movies....
And oh yeah...when it gets too difficult, we can just bail out...run away before it gets too messy, before we're too entangled, before we really begin to care, before we're actually asked to make some compromises....worse still before we feel ourselves wanting to make em.
Commitment is something that scares us so bad...but I've always wondered whether we're scared of giving that person a chance or whether we're scared of losing something that we don't even have yet...
On the other end of the spectrum, if we choose not to love at all becuz we are too scared, we run the risk of being alone which is everyones worst nightmare...no matter how much some of us may try to deny this...it is true.We need to love, we need people to care...we need someone to lean on , someone to cherish us and to push us to be our best selves...
Caught between the devil n the deep blue sea!!!!! as one of my psychology teachers used to say....
Love is something we have to work at. It does not come easy...like all the best things in life. We've been brought up on illusions of love, a romantic fairytailish description..where everything ends happily ever after...The truth is there is no happily ever after. There will always be hiccups in everything that we do simply cuz we're not perfect. In spite of this we expect a love that's perfect without blemish...come on ...that can only be in the soppy romance movies....
And oh yeah...when it gets too difficult, we can just bail out...run away before it gets too messy, before we're too entangled, before we really begin to care, before we're actually asked to make some compromises....worse still before we feel ourselves wanting to make em.
Commitment is something that scares us so bad...but I've always wondered whether we're scared of giving that person a chance or whether we're scared of losing something that we don't even have yet...
On the other end of the spectrum, if we choose not to love at all becuz we are too scared, we run the risk of being alone which is everyones worst nightmare...no matter how much some of us may try to deny this...it is true.We need to love, we need people to care...we need someone to lean on , someone to cherish us and to push us to be our best selves...
Caught between the devil n the deep blue sea!!!!! as one of my psychology teachers used to say....
Living Life In The Fast Lane
In today’s glamorous jet set life, everyone seems to be doing their best to squeeze everything they can into the space of a single day….
It’s crammed so full that sometimes there’s not enough place to breathe…
Every part of me that can be traced back to my sussegad Goan roots feels violated ….i just want to be by myself ….maybe doing nothing at all but feeling at peace with myself and the universe around me and maybe occasionally ponder on some of the mysteries out there…..however this is all but a distant possibility , so distant that I think a star would be closer. There’s always something that I need to be doing, or that I should have done that constantly haunts me...leaving behind traces of guilt , that like Lady Macbeth , I can’t seem to erase.
Even if by some miracle, there’s no guilt ( this is a very rare phenomenon ) looking at everyone bustling around like ants or bees ,whichever are busier….is more than enough to give poor lil me a complex…somehow my days don’t seem fulfilled unless I have that certain sense of accomplishment that comes from having achieved all that I have planned for the day….
I guess we’re all so busy trying to create this picture perfect life that sometimes we have no time to actually live it…sometimes we could choose to relax at home instead of going to that party we feel obligated to attend…we could take time out to go to the beach….alone in the early hours of dawn ….and let the glory of a sunrise wash over us …and listen to our hearts beating within us against the background of the musical waves….
More than anything else I think it’s important to do some soul searching every now and then…go on a little journey to rediscover parts of ourselves we’ve forgotten…to get to know the people we’re becoming over time ,to love the person we are right now , at this very minute…to see how very special we are….
In the midst of my humdrum existence where more often than not I found myself unhappy, I met a very wise person who told me to replace all the have to’s , should’s, would’s, did not’s with a simple could ….my path of could’s has only just begun…I still slip into my old ways now and then …..but I was simply amazed at the amount of pressure that was lifted off my shoulders …I feel so much lighter when I do take the time out to implement ‘could ’ in my life….I’ve realized that I don’t have to be perfect all the time but trying is more important than anything else and giving up doesn’t solve any problems…just makes me feel weaker
Every day is a new fairytale…there are new princes to meet, more dragons to slay and enchanting castles to discover.
But first we have to take some time to know ourselves …both strengths and weaknesses to fight the battle successfully .We have to remember that winning isn’t everything but it feels good. Losing is more important than winning because it teaches us how to win and last of all we should take our time to do the things we want to and be happy
It’s crammed so full that sometimes there’s not enough place to breathe…
Every part of me that can be traced back to my sussegad Goan roots feels violated ….i just want to be by myself ….maybe doing nothing at all but feeling at peace with myself and the universe around me and maybe occasionally ponder on some of the mysteries out there…..however this is all but a distant possibility , so distant that I think a star would be closer. There’s always something that I need to be doing, or that I should have done that constantly haunts me...leaving behind traces of guilt , that like Lady Macbeth , I can’t seem to erase.
Even if by some miracle, there’s no guilt ( this is a very rare phenomenon ) looking at everyone bustling around like ants or bees ,whichever are busier….is more than enough to give poor lil me a complex…somehow my days don’t seem fulfilled unless I have that certain sense of accomplishment that comes from having achieved all that I have planned for the day….
I guess we’re all so busy trying to create this picture perfect life that sometimes we have no time to actually live it…sometimes we could choose to relax at home instead of going to that party we feel obligated to attend…we could take time out to go to the beach….alone in the early hours of dawn ….and let the glory of a sunrise wash over us …and listen to our hearts beating within us against the background of the musical waves….
More than anything else I think it’s important to do some soul searching every now and then…go on a little journey to rediscover parts of ourselves we’ve forgotten…to get to know the people we’re becoming over time ,to love the person we are right now , at this very minute…to see how very special we are….
In the midst of my humdrum existence where more often than not I found myself unhappy, I met a very wise person who told me to replace all the have to’s , should’s, would’s, did not’s with a simple could ….my path of could’s has only just begun…I still slip into my old ways now and then …..but I was simply amazed at the amount of pressure that was lifted off my shoulders …I feel so much lighter when I do take the time out to implement ‘could ’ in my life….I’ve realized that I don’t have to be perfect all the time but trying is more important than anything else and giving up doesn’t solve any problems…just makes me feel weaker
Every day is a new fairytale…there are new princes to meet, more dragons to slay and enchanting castles to discover.
But first we have to take some time to know ourselves …both strengths and weaknesses to fight the battle successfully .We have to remember that winning isn’t everything but it feels good. Losing is more important than winning because it teaches us how to win and last of all we should take our time to do the things we want to and be happy
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