Very recently i decided to make a positive change in my life, something that i had been contemplating for a while.There had been halfhearted attempts in that direction before but.... this was the REAL thing. There are just these few moments in my life when I know with utter conviction that there is something that i must do. It was not that this was a particularly easy decision to make, it was just that i reached a point where i would be a hypocrite no more!!!! (at least in this area of my life :P)
At first there was a warm glow inside me, the nice feeling that i was doing something good. Things began to go downhill rather rapidly after that. Something i said was misunderstood and a close friend thought i was a liar, maybe even a hypocrite ....actually i really wouldn't know cuz he's not talking to me right now....
Being good seems to be a lot more trouble than its worth right??? So why even try??? That's cuz as much as i may try to deny it sometimes...my conscience does have a lotta say in my life ... and when it is quiet, the silence is deafening, which another recent realisation. Another good reason to be good is that i unblock the block between God n me...which i put up , kinda like a screen that supposed to allow me to do things without him seeing me...even though i know that he can see anyway...lol jus another one of some of the futile things that i do that make me, me. And last but not the least i have this feeling of peace, of oneness with the world and I'm happy even though I'm miserable...contradictory huh!!!but yeah....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment